Amanda

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Here's the link :)
 
http://shes_amanda.livejournal.com/

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Should i be happy or sad when i received your message? 
No matter how tired i was i still did reply you. 
That dream of you shocks me, you finally brought me home and introduced me to your mum she really liked me and than she told me about your hair that it was too long blocking your eyes, she told me to ask you to go for a hair cut than your text came. I don't know what it meant tho. 
Anyway I don't know what was the message suppose to mean, is it that you miss me or you're just bored and decided to messge me? This i will never know. 
Off to bed im so tired.. ZZzz *yawns*

Went sentosa today! Okay didn't get much sleep the day before, and im exhausted now. Overall i love today woo hoo! so much fun especially with 3 really nonsense and hillarious WSC! Laughs. Alrights this are some of the pictures that were taken today. Im lazy to post futher. off to bed!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday
Went out with babe to bugis. What a day of photo taking uh! Laughs. But it was a joyful day i can say.
SMILE! Say cheese! =D

Too many to load, this are some of it! :)







 


Today
Went out with wil and ssm to town met jiki, peggy and renyi after awhile they went home. Me, wil and ssm watched the movie Indiana Jones. What a nice show uh! haha.
Left town after the movie came back Sk met Cw went plaza Mac, around 11plus back home. Tired. 

Here's My little wish! That all would be fine tomorow! Please. 

Than comes saturday woo hoo! :) *wink wink*

Planned to go jogging in the morning at 5plus, but around 1.30am everyone was bored nothing to do so decided to go cycling, bike hunt for 2hours plus finally got 2 bikes! Me angel and cousin cycled down to babes house to find her, on the way there saw Mingsoon haha so coinsidence than reached babe house around 3.30am, around 5 we cycled around hougang area went 684 bumbed into jiki. Than to hougang green, block 693, hougang plaza, SSS than to sengkang and damn it was raining we all got wet and filty. Went home to bathe, skipped breakfast too lazy and tired already. Lala land i went.

While sleeping some ass called me at 4plus! laughs! hey babe lets go out, so we went town. So coinsidence that wilson and CW going town too so headed town tght. Okay saw so many things that i wanna buy, but im broke cant buy. At 9 left town wilson and cw went seperate ways with us. Me and babe went campass saw alan and company. Than at starbuck bumbed into tiancheng and company, so many people. Anyway left campass early coz my eyes were sore :( and its still painful my eye is redish in colour. OUCH!

Bored.. lazy.. tired.. but cant sleep.  

Get well soon ass!




I hope you're happy, just to see you smile im satisfied.
Even tho we cant be together i hope we're still friends

For me Its time to give up im no longer in your heart
Tears i've shed, things that i have done it doesn't take the pain away but,
I believe time will heal all wounds
All good things are infront of you, so take a step forward amanda
Its hard for me  but i got to try, in order to let the pain heal day by day. 

I really thought that we could last, And i put my whole heart in this relationship didn't expect this to happen. 
I really wished that you didn't go to school coz ever since than you've changed. 
I trust your words "Dear you're the first and last girl im gonna be with" Guess i was wrong. 

The first time i met you, you were on the bed lying down coz you drank alot and got a little drunk i think. I was invited in to the chalet by your friends, i sat beside you. Your face was covered with a pillow i didn't get to see your face until you woke up, When i saw you at that moment i think i fell in love. Laughs. I was tired and you asked me to lie beside you, we talked alot and exchanged numbers, yeah i was really happy. Being beside you makes me feel safe. I still remember derric and estelle was laughing at us and kept talking about us two. Than we ate breakfast together too remember? And you were in a bad mood when you went home i text you why so angry? And i asked you to drink more water. haha. We started messaging each other since then and from there we got closer.
But on christmas you were really cold towards me, i broke down. Than we stopped msging, but 1 or 2weeks later at fareast 3rd floor i bang onto you accidentally i still told you sorry and i look up Shocks its you. I teared after seeing you, did you know that? i don't know why but when i saw you i got really sad. Than you message me "so qiao we meet". 
Than CNY we went to gerald house to play poker cards, On the 090208 you asked me to be your girlfriend. That was the happiest time, in my heart i jumped for joy. 

Remember we planned our future it was gonna be a sweet sweet future.
You said im the first girl that will hop onto your bike and we'll also save money together. 

I will never forget the first day that you asked me to be your girlfriend, first kiss and the first picture we took. And also the path that we took, what we've been thru together, the sweet memories that we had, what you did for me on valentine's day and my birthday, those were the things that no one had ever done for me and made me feel that happy before. Its simply i've never love someone that deep before. I've treasured the 3motnths when i was with you.
Take care Xav, you'll always be in my heart no matter what.

"What to do make a fool" thats the pharse you always said.

090208

You think im Happy? Laughs..

 


I feel so lonely suddenly

Stayed at home the whole day, rotting all day long.
I cant sleep yet i've got nothing to do. One word Boring!

Oh ya get well soon dumb ass! Than you can accompany me when im bored! hees =D
 

Cant we compromise and work things out? 

Must you talk this way?

I don't want to give up, must i? But seeing you this way makes me hurt even more. This song is how i feel now. Im lost without you. 
Anyway Its not called flirt around im making this clear, its my friends. And you is getting to know more girls ain't that flirt? You just go without reason expect me to do what? My friends comfort me and bring me out is that wrong? 

I had my reasons for doing those things
You got it all wrong

Do you really love me? Don't think you are. Still can flirt around with girls now. Damn fucking argh! Hate it ! What i am to you now a piece of dirt? 

Waiting and given you so much time, any answer i got from you? Well NO! 

The path that we've walked thru,
The ups and downs we've been thru, 
Its all fading away.

Its really time to give up Amanda theres no chance for you, please wake up.

I saw your friendster, impressive i can say, nice comments. Think you're happy without me, you look happier. I don't know why im so sad and depressed over you maybe im dumb? Its so fucking painful, i cant take it anymore what should i do? :( Love me but don't want to be together, i've never been thru this before. Sigh~

I cant stay at home, When im alone i'll start to think. Just wanna go out and make myself busy. Walked thru so many places that we've been makes me tear. 
You're the only guy that i've been thru so much together, and you really gave me the happiness that i wanted. Whats happening to all our happy moments? im starting to see it fading day by day. I don't want it to end. :(

When i was with you, i felt so protected
When i was with you, i felt that i didn't need anything else but you.
You changed my life so much, you make me felt what love really was.
And now without you, im lost.
No direction or what so ever.
Hope you'll really come back to me, but do i stand a chance?

FUCK! Im really not myself! Can even leave my phone behind at Mac's! Lucky i got it back shouted at the mac delivery man damn him don't want to return my phone. I don't know what he did and my phone and now its currently dead, need to bring it for some operation. Im lost without my phone =( Cant contact people. Sigh~


Anyway today met my lovely friends at town, ate subway for the whole day, didn't had appitite. Than did some shopping didn't get anything, nothing caught my eyes except! this hot and cute NUM guy! Like can i buy you home? laughs! His hot right LS! Cant remeember his name already its some weirdo name. Saw tiancheng and friends there, talk to them awhile and headed home with my lovely babes.

Back to Sk met some friends chit-chat than me and babe went to mac to eat, got alittle hungry after walking back from campass. lol~

How i wish i could accept you into my life, You're so nice to me, all the things you've done for me that cheered me up when im down. Sigh~ If there wasn't him we would be together but i still cant let go of him.

You really broke my heart so much until im afraid to go into another relationship. Why did you change so suddenly without any reason. Thought i found the one that would truely love me yet you hurt me the most. Don't know what to say anymore, i just cant seem to have back that one and only sweet darling i had before.
When you're not around i don't seem to be myself anymore. Sigh..

I hate hate hate it!! ARGH! Feel like going sentosa real soon to enjoy myself and play like i've never played before!
Why must you do this to me? Im super depressed and i feel really useless now. Seriously after this thing happened i couldn't sleep nor eat well. Sigh. I really regrated of everything i've done.

All i wanted was for you to love and hold me tight without letting me go.
I don't wanna let you go. Must I?

I don't wanna hurt nobody.
Im to blame.
Im sorry.
Now I've lost everything that i wanted.
Guess I Didn't know how to tresure thoes who love me.



*You'll always be in my heart just like a tattoo*


I miss you~
When will i ever get to see your face again?

Im Depressed now, I dont know what you're thinking? Please don't leave me hanging without direction. You once told me that you'd love me no matter what happens, I guess its just a saying for you but i took it seriously.
Should i be crying over you?
Should i get moving on?



Its That one person that could make me happy.

Im all at fault. Take care of yourself alright.

You're disappointed in me, im also disappointed in you. At this state im so sad and what did you do? keep questioning me without any comforting words. I really don't know what you want now. Im fucking confused. You think i want this kind of things to happen? You know you've neglected me but what did you do, nothing. Sigh~

So disappointed in you. Didn't expect you to delete everything. Ask you, you said you've got nothing to say. I think this is what it has to be i cant take it anymore wen i needed your love, you are not here for me. You've changed since School started I thought you said you will make sure you'll have time for me but you didn't. I will never forget that last sunday before school started that flying kiss, that Hug and thoes words from you. Now i'll set you free to concentrate on your studies and have all the time for your friends. I hope im doing what is right for you, i just want you to be happy. Promise me you will take care of yourself drink more water okay? Get well soon kay. Its funny tho wen you get sick i will also get sick like the last time. Laughs.
If you'd say you love me again I'll be most happy to say Yes but i'll doubt so.


I don't know how to say this,
I don't want it to be true.

But I need to let you go,
As much as I need you.

I need time to think,
I just want more space.

My thoughts have been racing,
I'm tired of this chase.

I know that tomorrow I'll be crying,
Because a piece of me will die.

I just know I need to do this,
I need to say good-bye.

Good-bye to love,
Good-bye to dreams.

Good-bye to life,
As empty as it seems.

I knew you knew it was coming,
Even though you didn't want it to be true.

I just want you to know,
I will always love you.

Ni bu zai tang wo zui xu yao ai